Thursday, December 29, 2016

Words Of Wisdom

Carry a knife. Always. The only time you should not have a knife is when you are naked, in a bed or when you’re swimming. (Real men swim, they don’t play in the water. And, there is only one kind of knife and that’s a sharp one. A dull knife is nothing but a flat piece of metal with a handle.)

Get a hat; a real hat, you gotta have a hat. Not a baseball cap. You don’t have to wear it all the time but when you are wearing it, take it off when you hear the National Anthem, when you are eating and when you go inside and sit down.

If you are going to carry a handgun, carry it concealed. There are only a few social settings where open carry is proper and they are cookouts and barbecues, campfires and hangings. (We don’t have many hangings these days.) Never open carry in nylon, plastic or Kydex; it’s like wearing tennis shoes to a funeral. And never, ever open carry a Glock unless you are a cop. Nobody wants to see that ugly thing.

Teach at least one kid to shoot and hunt – and to do it well, before you die.
Don’t show off your tattoos unless you are asked.
Stop using your smart phone to check the time. Get a watch for god’s sake.

Act like you have been there before no matter if it’s Paris or a hurricane. This always applies unless it’s your first time at Gunsite. If it is, keep your mouth shut; you’ll learn more that way.
If you have hair on your head or a beard or mustache, keep it trimmed.
Always buy the first round; nobody remembers who bought the second round or the last one.
If you are going to engage in a ballistics discussion, know something about ballistics.

Never sit or stand by a man when you can sit or stand by a woman. Do I really need to explain this one?

Learn how to start a fire and how to split wood but always let the youngest in the group do both.
If you are riding in the passenger seat, for heaven’s sake, get the gate!
Know who John Browning was and at least two firearms he invented.
Learn how to tell a hunting story that folks will listen to.

When your hunting partner kills an animal, they touch it first. No exceptions. Well, unless they are sick, seriously injured or if you had to deliver the final shot before it stomped them into a blood puddle.
Its OK to let someone field dress and skin your animal but only if you hired them and are paying them to do it.

You don’t have to know how to cook a lot of things but you must know how to cook breakfast and venison.
Repeat after me, “There is no such thing as a ladies gun.”

And finally, for the love of all that has anything to do with firearms, know how to sight your rifle in without using a box of ammo.

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